Unwelcome
ZOMBiE's Blog
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I Call Myself
ZOMBiE CYGIG
"Educated" At
Maha Bodhi School, Victoria School, Anderson JC, LASALLE College of the Arts
What I Do
Lazing, Hobby Crafting, DIY, Graphic Design, Computer Stuff that you don't get it
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This work is licensed under a
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ZOMBiE's Blog
This Blog is best viewed in 1024x786, in Firefox 3.0, Internet Explorer 6.0 or Opera 8.0 or above. Flash Player 9 or above required... That was for 10 years ago, most modern browsers can view my blog.
You accept the Terms and Conditions of cygig.blogspot once you start accessing this blog. Else, please leave immediately.
I Call Myself
ZOMBiE CYGIG
"Educated" At
Maha Bodhi School, Victoria School, Anderson JC, LASALLE College of the Arts
What I Do
Lazing, Hobby Crafting, DIY, Graphic Design, Computer Stuff that you don't get it
What I Avoid
Hipsters, Soccer, Apple Brand, Outings
How Am I Like
Logical, Practical, Off-Beat, Anti-Social, Sarcastic
Number of Views
View My Stats
Talk Cock
Check This Out!
ZOMBiE's Theorem
Quotes
My Dark Literature(Poems, Songs, Short Stories)
Classic Enteries
zB BlogLock
This Blog...
Theme: Glass Core METAL
No using of my blog skin and zB Blog Tools without my permission. Some music streamed to blog can be freely distributed under Creative Commons. Others are linked from external websites.
History
Current Posts
January 2004
September 2004
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
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March 2006
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This work is licensed under a
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Monday, July 30, 2007
Save me. Please.
[ZOMBiE CyGiG] ranted at 1:01 AM --- Post#5041623534285106043
"Who designed the logo?"
"dunno, some OJE"
As usual my effort are worthless. No only i dun get my off, they dun even noe who designed their tee. At this point in time, i recalled what 2IC told me a few days before...
.
.
.
"This is the unit, u have to follow the tempo. When the door is open, everyone will stay out. This is a stay in unit. As long as you are here, you stay in! As for things like Exercise Wallaby, u go with your company. If your company goes, you have to. Dun come and tell me nonsense like you dun want to do. I train u liao, you have to go. Else i train you for what? Dun say im a bastard, today OC is coming down, your go and tell him, ask him change unit for your...."
In the end, OC never came to us...he just came down to take a look. Due to his busy schedule, all the dialogs and interview had been canceled.
.
.
.
That day was cohesion day. I dun drink, so i just put my head on the table. Hoping some tears will come for me to cry and make a scene in front of everyone. Perhaps it will appeal to their better nature? But tears never come. Somehow after so long of rough life, i had forgotten how to cry, because everytime i want to cry, im either in the public or in front of family. I dun want cry in those situation. Or maybe everytime cry unit no tears liao. Or maybe im too numb to feel anything. Thinking back again to something happened a day before...
.
.
.
I was desperate after what 2IC told me. All my hopes dashed. So i decided to seek help from my OETI instructor. A particular person who i think can help me. I messaged her, but she never ever reply. The next day i found out i forgot to include my name, so i sent another SMS to her and told her who i am. No reply still. Either she is pissed off with me, or she dun understand what i want, cos i summarise all the reasons and events and help i wanted into a mere hundred plus words.
Looking at my a senior in charge of me, he dun seem like going to help me. He dint ask about my problem or wny i want stay out, just said "u got problem go find the IC lor, your problem is our concern. I can help arrange interview if you want".
Another senior keep tapping my shoulder and say "I know you dun want be turret mech, but just enjoy ba...". I explain i dun want stay out, not dun want be turret mech. He replied "stay in stay out same. After work u close your eyes, u wake up, you goto work. In future, at the end of the day, u close our eyes, you wake up, u go to school..." Huh? I was working with him alone for quite some time in the day. I was so much hoping he can ask why i want to stay out, so i can tell him. Nope, he just kept working and never asked me anything at all. No chance for me to explain. I dun want irritate anymore ppl w my old boring problems.
.
.
.
Back to cohesion night...I was putting my head on the table, when suddenly someone came to massage my shoulder. I woke up and saw this friendly big face on top. Officer. He told me before he will help me. But tonight he told me something more.
"Why so sad? Tonight good food leh."
"Haiz...."
"Dun liddat lah, u in happiness and bliss u dunno only. U got watch the 9pm Honor and Passion show?"
"Nah, i dun watch propagandas" I paused a while. "Oh ya, 2IC said no negotiation to stay out and not go overseas exercise." Staring at 2IC making sure he cant hear.
"Ya lah...". He replied. I was shocked. I tot the answer will be something more comforting. Something more coherent to the "dun worry" that he told me few days ago.
"Cannot change a platoon to the Ayer Rajah one?" I asked.
"No lah." He replied. At this point in time, i dun feel like continuing the conversation. Though i tot im damn rude since he is an officer. I put my head down, as he walked over (someone calling him i guess).
After that, Some prize giving and stuff. Some birthday cakes for ppl's bd in july. They force me go in cut cake. In exchange i gave them my orh bin (black face, though literally i very fair).
The rest of the turret ppl are high on alcohol and having some fun making each other emo. I never took any beer, but i tot i took some depressant. I feel like dying...feel like laughing to myself, feel like flying...like i can jump off from this canteen and end this all. Feel like maybe i can stuff myself with too much food and get some heart diseases and die. Ya food...food makes me better. So i keep gorging, even i noe later on i sure get gastric problem.
Ppl drink beer to drown sorrow. I gorge myself with food to achieve the same effect. Hai, at this point in time, Mr Zombie still holds his guai lan trademark. No hope for me da. Quite funny, come to think of it.
After the cohesion ends, i quickly get my stuff and took Master's car back home. Nice of him to send me to just outside my block. Thank you.
.
.
Two days later
.
.
Im playing Halo 2. Someone pushing myself into the digital virtual world again. Im no longer a private in SAF. Im Master Chief, the commander of a fleet of soldiers armed with Battle Rifle and Plasma Sword, driving Warthog and Scorpion Tank around like no body's business, crushing each and every Covenant and Flood in my way.
I can hold auto firing SMG, summore dual wielding them and spray at anyone incuding friendly forces. I can use my one slash one kill plasma sword against the Elites or snipe down jackals with Beam Rifle.
For days i had been indulging in the game. Hoping to relief my problems. Yup hope.
Will hope come? Will miracle come. I tell myself "YES YES", but i know in the end...nothing will come.
Save me. Please.
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Sunday, July 29, 2007
Shd or shdnt I?
[havoc] ranted at 12:52 PM --- Post#2429673794250870979
Shd I or shdnt?
This is the qn I haf been thinking to myself, over and over again after reading Low Kay Hwa's "I Believe U". Well, I m not in a hurry or desperate to find the ans to tt now, unlike the main character in the story. Time will tell me everything I nid to noe. Its no use brooding over smth tt is yet to happen, though I may regret if tt time really comes.
I m a happy-go-lucky person. But the recent events in camp really made my blood boil. They say boys change in army. I used to agree otherwise. Time really tells the difference. How to adopt a happy-go-lucky attitude when so many unpleasant things happen on u in juz a short period?
Well, for once I muz really thx god for relieving my agony towards smokers smoking blatantly in my bunk. They r cutting down on their cigarette intakes in my bunk. Phew! Looks like the idea of buying a gas mask has to b set aside for the time being. HAHA!
Of cos, amongst all these pleasant stuff tt r starting to take place, there r ppl who r still as fucked up as b4, ruining the rosy pic I long wanted to paint of my life in camp. BALVINDER AND SADISH r still clinging on to their 1st position on my top 10 hate list.
Nx comes a guy called MD RIZZWAN. Another blatant smoker who has a wtf attitude. MUTHAFUCKER is his name, and mocking at others is his game. In my eyes, he is a SHATEC student reject.
My grp IC has also made his way up my top hated list. FUCKER. I still remb on Fri's RO, the BOS told us tt our breakfast timing was 0625. 0625 is a magical number, bcos normally our breakfast timing is b4 0600.. I still remb the latest timing was ard 0550. The number "6" in 0625 was so magical tt I almost wanted to ring up my dad and asked him to cast his bets on the "winning" number 0625.. Of cos, I didnt since I m not a hardcore gambler.
Apparently, when everyone heard this piece of gd news, everyone was taken by surprised. The Surprise was soon overwhelmed by a sense of happiness tt hadnt occured since we began our stay-in at semb camp. All except our IC. After we left frm RO back to our bunk, everyone was delighted. Of cos, all gd things come an end. I wd say for my case, an ABRUPT one. After we reached our bunk and settled on our cozy beds, the IC came shortly after, breaking yet another news tt took us by shock. It seemed tt there was a change in timing to 0500!!! WtF? This wd mean we had to wake up by 0430 to prepare our wash up? This was a shock, bcos our ever latest fall-in timing had changed to the earliest fall-in timing we ever had!
When I heard tt the IC was the one responsible to bring abt this downfall, I angrily questioned his motive.. This was part of the god-damned excuse to cover up his fucked up ass:
"Hey, juz look at the facts here, wd u? Does it make any sense tt u fall in for breakfast at 0625 when the bus to KBC arrives at 0630? Even if u decide to fall in at 0625 for breakfast, and decide to reach KBC at a later time, how wd u account tt to our ACOE (the instructor in charge of our pltn)? Obviously, I had the welfare of the pltn in mind when I proposed to the BOS abt this. I dun want MYSELF to b kenna fucked upside dwn for such a simple matter. Rather than the whole grp kenna fucked by ACOE, I ll be the fucker this time to ask him to change the time to an earlier one, so tt no one wd b fucked!"
"So it juz boils down to yrself, u as an individual? Is it abt saving yr puny ass so tt u wont be fucked?" I tot to myself. Obviously disgusted by this reply of his, even though part of it made sense, I was wondering if the IC had any welfare of the pltn in mind. If he did, he wd bloody hell ask for an extension in the fall-in timing. And he didnt.
Since its RO, its pre-planned. I tot to myself, y make so much nuisance over the fall-in timing? If its 0625, there muz b a reason for it to b so. Our "beloved" IC juz had to stick his fucking leg into this matter. Another muthafucker.
Hope I wd haf an ez wk frm now on. I haf height and lashing test and parking assessment tmr. Another great hurdle b4 the great TP test. Oh GOD, come to my aid.
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Monday, July 23, 2007
Why I Hate Soccer
[ZOMBiE CyGiG] ranted at 10:45 PM --- Post#6418536636912174578
1. Personal preference. 22 guys running for one ball dun appeal to me.
2. To me, soccer is not innovative or creative or high tech a game at all.
3. Im a born slacker, i hate sports generally.
4. I go by my belief that a lot of popular stuffs are no good in quality, just made popular by promotion, culture, influence and pressure. And i think soccer is one of them. I seldom go by "because everyone does it/think that way thats why its correct and i must follow"
5. I cant play soccer well? Im not fit enough.
6. My good friends around me and my family mostly dun touch soccer
7. My current hobbies already require lots of money. Soccer usually comes with outings, beers, cable TV plans, concert ticket, buying fans merchandise... I wish to save money for my current hobby :)
8. Top down view of tiny humans and a micro soccer ball is not to my eye candy, just like Real Time Strategy Games.
9. Disputes between hardware, software, audio, graphics and other IT elements are more than enough. No soccer disputes on clubs and game play...nah...
10. Im proud to hate soccer.
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Sunday, July 22, 2007
Qi Li Xiang, re written lyrics
[ZOMBiE CyGiG] ranted at 10:55 PM --- Post#7419956844075482664
This is what i call a pro in chinese, and this kinda creativity should be inculcated into our education system. MOE should support this.
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Broke
[ZOMBiE CyGiG] ranted at 10:23 PM --- Post#2906460469875856733
Time to blog again.
41FMP logo
Damned...when they printed the logo for all the preview...lots of comments start flying in. Not enough details, colour not right...all those. In the first place i was instructed to "just do a simple one lah", and then "every BTT group do one". End up i burn my night trying to do something for the platoon, where the rest slack and comment so much. So nvm, i brainstormed and went home do a better one. Now this time they tell me what they want and i draw.
And for this. I want my two days off.
Mini Box D
Tried out Ah lam's mini box d pocket amp. On his iPod Mini, with amp it sounds very warm and that all the frequencies are equally presented, which is not my preference as i like EQing the sound to distort to something i like. Without the amp, the music sounds much colder and harder, but strangely more details come out. Perhaps some EQ has been done before sending the sound over to the headphone jack, while his line out is true flat sound.
On my D2, the sounding is nothing new. I was surprised as well, but with amp and flat all EQ/Enhance, it dint sound as extraordinary and warm as i tot it will be. Its equally nice and warm like my own EQ-ed and enhanced sound. Its prolly BBE at work :)
Lam verified it as well, as i do a demo to him with my new EQ with BBE on, then off.
Broke
Now GST go up...everything also exp. Teenage Cafe's price list goes up again. From my $1 Goreng Pisang...to $1.20 to now $1.90. Siao...haiz.. Bought four music album in a day. I want buy my Bagman bag as well but see pocket empty liao.
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Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Nothing to do
[ZOMBiE CyGiG] ranted at 11:27 PM --- Post#2214466400170332205
Army Technician = Sleeping
Not only today..for the past few days we kept sleeping. We call it "disappear". There is really no work for turret technician to do mah...so slack lor. We cant stay inside the office to blow air for too long, else other ppl will keep asking why we no work to do.
For today really zero work to do. We took the key to rest room and hide there and sleep the whole day. So little work still want us stay in. Nonsense.
I went to MO this morning, cos my tummy sibei pain. MO say its gastric flu...must be i eat too much raw salmon liao da...MO so giam siap, gastric flu only give one day ATT B. I got slight fever and diarrhea lor..must give Att C de!
41 FMP Logo
They ask me design a logo for 41 Forward Maintenance Platoon (thats my unit in Kranji, in case u sitll dunno). I mean i hate that place. Hate as in i hate the fact need to stay in, need to go Exercise Wallaby and go India. The ppl and amenities there are fine. Well, if they ask me, i will do the logo for them.
They gonna print on some mini-tee for those going to ORD soon. Outside liddat design one at least i charge $200 to $300 liao lor. Then come here they dun even know its i do the logo de. Stupid army. I hope will get some days off for my effort.
Project Tee Launching
I was asking Jas that day if she got design her own tee before. She told me her aunt is do print tee de. So can help. Well this struck me in trying to print my own tee. Tomato seem interested in it cos i told her pics of tomato will definitely be in. Wei kiat wants a tee for The Wicked. At least now got some ppl interested, i will come out w some tee design, and ask Jas help me go get it print.
Say one tee is $20 cost price. Then each person take 5. say got 3 or 4 ppl getting. Total is about 15 to 20. Then one keep, the rest 4 tee go give away or sell. Sounds ok to me. Cos need to make the numbers for bulk purchase. Each tee can sell $30, earn $10.
Actually less about selling, what i want is to wear my ownself designed tee lah. Hai...stupid army need me stay in and stuff..else i will be able to fulfill my dream easily.
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Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Japanese Breast Feeding Cat
[ZOMBiE CyGiG] ranted at 11:10 PM --- Post#7523620434602252884
Just a little naughty entertainment. Love ANIMALS! Hehehe.
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Sunday, July 15, 2007
ZZzZZ
[havoc] ranted at 4:43 PM --- Post#6771658323502695869
If anyone out there thinks being a driver is an ez vocation, think again. Wif various theory and practical tests u haf to conquer, and high requirements u muz attain, its quite pressurizing.
Oh well, tt's my life. For another 10 wks?
Fuck the smokers. They r really getting on my nerves. Fuck Balvinder and Sadish. The 2 biggest fuckers cum smokers ard in STC. Always challenging higher authorities and showing off in every way possible, its been a pain in the ass knowing such scums. I really hope I can gif these 2 a piece of my mind.. But come to think of it, I wd ony nid to bear wif them for another 6 wks or so. Can I withhold my anger till den or wd I erupt b4 tt time comes? Their daily irritating acts only serve to fuel my hatred and disgust towards them.
Luckily, there r guys I noe I can depend on in times of needs. These guys r my AFS friends tt also bear a similar hatred to the smokers. For once, I wasnt fighting this war alone. ALONE..
Hope tt I wd pass my Highway Situational Test (HSP) this wk. I find it a chore to repeat the same old thing everytime we practised HSP in classroom. LET'S GET IT DONE ONCE AND FOR ALL AND MAKE IT A GLORIOUS VICTORY FOR ME TO REMB IN THE DAYS TO COME.
Oh well..
Also, I wanted to add tt the food provided by SFI really sux. SUX to the core.Wif mutton curry served every meal is an eye sore. They seriously nid to revamp the menu lah, but sadly spking, there r no channels to bring this issue across. So I die die had to lum lan sux thumb for the 10 wks.
FUCK!
Anyway, a happy bdae to cygig. Hope yr wishes come true. I hereby wishing u success in everything u do. Hope u can get over the sad things tt occur to u in the previous year and get on to live a fulfilling life.
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Fuck Day
[ZOMBiE CyGiG] ranted at 10:34 AM --- Post#2886781419683510071
Fuck Day
Birthday? I have no birthday. Whats the use of birthday on a freaking sunday where i have to stay at home to rot? Cant find anyone go out today...i guess i will stone at home ripping music and trying to get pass that stupid Copy Protected CD.
Every year birthday also damn sian damn sad. Last year's bd worry about school stuff...this year army stuff...so sad so sad...fuck lah... I noe of ppl who will always get like big birthday parties, lots lots lots of presents and cakes. For me, its just my parents taking me to eat (maybe they wanna eat themself also?) something a bit more exp than normal dinner or lunch.
Damn sad. Birthday is just like any usual day...dragged with parent's nagging and sister's irritation and the usual problems....sian
Birthday? More like Fuck Day.
Digital Land
I realised i haven been talking to anyone for the past 2 weeks. Talking as in real life chatting to humans directly. All along in camp, i merely held simple conversation like "tml bring what?" or "what time fall in?" or "fix what thing?" or "er, sergeant looking for you". My handphone's batt lasted the whole week cos i never call anyone nor sms anyone (except towards the end of the week i sms a bit).
I had been talking, playing whatever in forums, my own comp, over MSN, over sms. I realised i talked over these indirect medium is much more than i talk in real life. Slowly...my life is divided into two parts. First part is the problemtic "Mohawk" (my turret ppl called me cos im the only Mohawk from BMT in my class) who is so guai lan and soft and lousy and worry about things like staying in and going overseas and hide at home all the time. The part two comes when i enter my little digital comfort zone, reading and posting in forums, chat online over the midnight on MSN, or mass messaging and chatting w like 5 ppl simultaneously on SMS and busting my bill. Taking command of my machines and make full use to do watever i like, so confident becos most of the time my fatality and power in controlling machines is much much more than ppl around me.
Someone told me before she likes to stay alone and quiet when depress. But i tot i myself like to talk to ppl, rant a lot to release pressure and stress. When ranting, i never ever expected an answer or solution...just to vent my anger my saying things out thats all.
Now i want to switch, now i just want be alone. I dun want rant, dun want talk at all. Just lock myself up. Real life or digital life also dun talk anymore. Just like trap myself in some dark zone no body finds, no body sees. Out of sight. Out of hearing range.
Then one day you find me dead, and you also dunno why. But dun worry, i will still blog.
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Light Box
[ZOMBiE CyGiG] ranted at 9:25 AM --- Post#84231261588290329
Im just wondering how effective my light box is?
What is a light box? It is simple a box with translucent matieral around it, like cloth or plastics. The idea is to diffuse strong light (using spot lights or bright lamps from the sides) entering the light box, so that the object placed inside the light box is nicely lighted for photography work.
My mini studio light box
I used my C730UZ for testing. Its an old camera since Sec2 (year 2002), its 3mp and then its smthing outstanding lor. Compared to my D80, the metering and speed is no match. Other than that, the colour of C730 tends to be more noisy and dull.
Turn out the images looks ok. Shows that with controlled good lighting, even lousy cam can achieve good results easily. Good for mini DIY studio works.
The Light box cost me $30, and the lamp and holder damn cheap from cash converters.
Some toufu (looks more like square apple) plushie my sis gave me for birthday
The spanner Master Stella gave us before leaving OETI
My little Koromon
Crystal turtle, dunno kope from where one...
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Monday, July 09, 2007
Damn chio
[ZOMBiE CyGiG] ranted at 12:28 AM --- Post#8206962418620046344
Damn chio, what a pity...
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Sunday, July 08, 2007
Random
[havoc] ranted at 11:30 AM --- Post#5056100923844065299
Heaven Knows
Rick Price
_____
She's always on my mind
From the time I wake up
Till I close my eyes
She's everywhere I go
She's all I know
And though she's so far away
It just keeps getting stronger everyday
And even now she's gone
I'm still holdin' on
So tell me where do I start
'Cause it's breakin my heart
Don't wanna let her go
Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows
My friends keep telling me
That if you really love her
You've gotta set her free
And if she returns in time
I'll know she's mine
So tell me where do I start
'Cause it's breaking my heart
Don't wanna let her go
Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows
Why I live in despair
'Cause wide awake or dreaming
I know she's never there
And all the time I act so brave
I'm shakin' inside
Why does it hurt me so
Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows
Heaven knows
Heaven knows
Sentimental but meaningful.. Oh well on wif my life during these 6 days..
I haf tonnes of lectures and driving practicals these 6 days. I also had highway code test (MCQ test on the common road signs and safety regulations), where failures muz stay back for RT. The passing mark was 45/50, luckily I scored 49.. Those who failed the test deserved it, mostly bcos they only noe how to smoke all day long.
Fucking smokers. Actually I dun mind them smoking, since its their lives tt r at stake and not mine. However, when my life is threatened by their inconsiderate actions, I wd gif a fucking damn. U might b wondering wad did they do tt was considered inconsiderate. Well, here's a list of wad they did:
1) Smoking in bunks openly, though rules r strictly enforced not to do so.
2) Smoking on tonners every Friday (since Friday is NO SMOKING DAY)
3) Smoking and exhaling their air at the faces of non-smokers
4) Secretly smoking till the wee hours of the nite, disturbing others wif their noise and smoke pollution
5) Polluting the whole place wif their hideous faces
KK.. I think the last pt was abit too much. But, their stupid n incorrigible actions serve to threaten the lives of non-smokers. I think if this goes on, I wd soon die of passive smoking. Telling the COS/OC wont help, since the max punishment they wd issue is confinement. AND the smokers wd get u for tt, since they r a bunch of uncultured hokkien pengs and modern malays (mostly widely known as muds)
My pleasant stay in Semb camp was further ruined by the sub-standard food they served in ckhse. Wif similar dishes served to u every single meal, one wdnt want to anticipate wad surprising stuff they wd serve for the nx meal. Fuck! Seriously, they shd revamp their menu. I had mutton curry and fried fish for the past 6 days. It keeps repeating every meal. Same goes for the drinks. I think I had rose syrup on 4 out of 6 days. The rice is as hard as stone. A lump of it will only crack when its dropped frm a high lvl. Thinking of this juz turns me off.
Returning there in 9 hrs time. DAMN. 7 more wks of torture to go.
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Saturday, July 07, 2007
Technicial Clerk
[ZOMBiE CyGiG] ranted at 9:39 AM --- Post#5950098843236178359
Everytime i step into Kranji camp, this thing call "depression" will come after me. Rather once i step in, i will begin to sigh and shake head. This is my graveyard. Being a technician is ok, being a stay in technician is suay, going to Aussie is a no way and going to india is almost equivalent to suicide.
I did consult my PC many times. He was from AJC for six months, then transferred to Poly, cos he felt he is not suited for JC. Then i say "Sir, thats why, i dun feel im suitable for a technician. Everyone got their own liking." He diam diam for a moment. I continued "I want be clerk."
"But being clerk got what pride?"
"Sir, the pride does not come from being a clerk, the pride comes from being able to serve my own passion after i have more free time when i become a clerk."
Actually im aware not all clerks stay out. But the case is im most definitely going to stay in in Kranji, i might as well take the gamble. Also being clerk usually works alone or with another clerk. I prefer working alone or with just another person. Also partly is because being clerk will have less chances to be posted overseas for exercise.
Its more like "not technician" than clerk actually. I quoted clerk is because its most ideal among other non-technical vocations.
Also Im damn aware my shoulder's condition isnt getting any better, who knows when i get older my arm just drop off?
So in short, Im still okay with being a technician, but feeling very uncomfortable with the idea of going overseas, and to stay in takes away learning and experiences of the field im going to peruse next time. Since now its almost 100% im going to to stay in and going to Wallaby and India, I then would like change a vocation, if given a choice, a clerk. And i am aware that i might not get my desired posting, but still its worth a try. On top of that, physically i got problems with my right shoulder and carrying heavy stuff, esp field pack and some action that requires me to stretch up my hands like pushing myself out of the hatch.
Miracle neh?
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Monday, July 02, 2007
Sorrry...
[ZOMBiE CyGiG] ranted at 10:09 PM --- Post#5298503726010204019
I made a good friend angry today. I was wishing her happy belated birthday on the phone, when i talk talk talk about my series of unfortunate events. I start to complain and whine as usual. She was like "U already very lucky...other ppl stay out all the way...", then i said "no...its not liddat, u never been in army how u noe?" I dint mean anything but just like a normal discussion.
She hung up. She said she was trying to cheer me and advise me while i keep talking back and arguing.
Actually i never have any intention on arguing back. Maybe its my bad cos i always argue back by nature. But i really dun have any intention of doing it. Its just like any other discussion lor. I complain a lot, yes i know. I also know by complaining and whining so much NOTHING will be change. Facts are facts, end of the day i still got to face it.
But what i want is just a channel to voice out my feelings. Vent a bit my anger and release the pressure. Thats why i always look for ppl to complain to. Cos i feel much better when i say it out. Also consoles from my friends boost my morale also. So i will just rant and rant...then i feel better...then i will think of ways to solve the problem myself.
Maybe she took me too seriously, as in she really wanted to help me, while me on this end just want to let everything out. Thus i offended her in that way. But really, i mean no harm, and i regret my doing.
Im someone who got no friends in real life, all my good friend are reachable only in digital transmission means. Ie Instant Messaging, SMS or phone talk. Thus i value each and every sms and MSN chat session. I value each session on phone as well. Common practise is ppl only reply to important messages, thus when i message someone and he/she dun reply, i get upset. Its not the other's party fault also, no one's job to entertain me, but cos i rely too much on indirect message transmission, i feel like the other party is daoing me or hating me.
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Kallang River
[ZOMBiE CyGiG] ranted at 7:09 AM --- Post#7576318327640285088
Went to Kallang River there for some night shots. Hope you like it.
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Sunday, July 01, 2007
Artwork: Loved VS The Hated
[ZOMBiE CyGiG] ranted at 4:28 PM --- Post#457501255941218999
[Full Size]
Explanation:
The most eye catching object in this piece is the bomb. Its those kinda of drop off bomb from planes and jets. If u look a little longer, u will pay attention to the couple in front. Yup, the big war and fights are often highlighted, but the small small lovely couple is just simply missed out. As the bomb is reaching the ground, the couple held hands and await doom. The chances of survival is very slim, but yet being able to die under the warmth of of love is much better than dying alone. Notice the girl is holding the guy's hand, in which the norm should be the other way round. Cos i believe neither the guy nor gal should sacrifice more for each other, rather it should be mutual. The gal should protect and calm the guy when the time comes.
Inspiration:
Yes, i do believe in hatred and revenge, but alot of times the power of love can rival with the power of hatred. Even if Love do not win Hatred, Love is noble enough to protect and stay by one another even when the world ends.
I had seen a lot of cases where guys got hurt (mentally or physically) during NS, and it devastated their families and friends as well. Also there are lots of cases where during the torment period, there isnt even anybody by his side to take care of him.
Love from a couple can be greater than any 1000mm round SAF can buy. National Service really drains a lot from any NSF, how sinful. The big big war everyone can see. The small small love no body cares.
Hatred is powerful. Love is noble.
Technical Details:
Software - Adobe Photoshop CS 3, Adobe Illustrator CS 3
Time taken - About a month
Canvas Size - 4000x3000px
The bomb, guy and girl are drawn in Illustrator, the usual way of shaping the objects like tablets, Pen tool and preset shapes. I used light desaturated colours this time, instead of my usual dark desaturated schemes. Im trying to mimic the cartoon style from Kawaii Not, noticing that the artist use a lot of light and eye smoothing colours. Although he goes about drawing borderless, i stick to having thick outline on my cartoon figures as well as some slight shading.
The polluted sky and smokes are make using the usual round brush. But what i did was to introduce some scattering, opacity jitter, size jitter, softness, spacing them out, mix between grey and dark grey... Then brushing them in circles to look like smoke or clouds, and finally applying blur. Gaussian blur to smokes and motion blur to the polluted sky. Duplicating the layers will make the effect stands out more.
The fire is done similarly to the smoke/clouds, but using a course bristle brush to simulate the flares coming from fire. Colours include yellow and dark orange. I notice that the outer side of the fire is often daker in colour than the inside. And fire is not red, its orange and yellow most of the time. Shadowing and inner glows and duplicating the same layers are used to make things more fiery.
The buildings in the bg is just simple rectangles with grunge brushes painted on, and duplicated many many times and manually varying its sizes and rotation.
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A long-winded entry
[havoc] ranted at 11:54 AM --- Post#7152847587793888026
As the title suggests and I will not care to elaborate..
First and foremost, I haven been to this place which I called sanctuary for a long time.. ever since the start of this wk. Partly bcos I was bz wif my admin stuff since I entered air force sch. For a period of 5 days, spanning frm mon to fri, I haf been devoting (wasting to b more exact) my precious time, sitting ard in an air-conditioned audi, wif a bunch of low-cultured poly brats, juz listening to tonnes of boring lectures. FUCK IT!
Air Force Sch surely wastes my time and energy when I was there for tt 5 days. Listening to its propaganda and slides to show how almighty it is to the SAF, I was bored to tears. 5 days mostly spent in audi slping due to boring lectures, wif little time for our games day on thurs and a ccb CCWO who strikes terror in everyone.. I was telling myself, y i was here in the 1st place.
As I slowly wake up frm my dream, I realised I m a AFV driver. A proud owner of a v200 and possibly a civilian license (if I can clock 7000km). YES! This is wad I always wanted. A driving license.
Finally on Fri, I knew wad was expected of this vocation. A 5.5 day work week (wtf), stayin at semb camp, driving course at Kaki Bukit, bkin in fieldpack and duffle bag. Well, kinda expected it was stay in. But the 5.5 day work wk is too much. Oh well, since the pros outweigh the cons, I shdnt complain so much.
Everyday to AFS was a torture, having to wake up at 0545 and rushing to catch the 0610 train to Toa Payoh, and rushing to catch the 0650 bus there... My life is pretty hectic, in a way. Gd thing is, I get to see my wonderful parents everyday. They r my revitalisers after a hectic & boring day at AFS..
Unlike weikiat, who had to stay in at 30th SCE (the most siong combat engineer unit), without getting to see his loved ones everyday and endure arduous regimentation training everyday. This was saddening for him. Wad was more shocking was tt HE was only given 5 mins of ADMIN TIME everynite.. and the atrocious act of his sgts confiscating all CE's fones during the day, I was like WTF? If it was me, I wd die in there. Staying in already means I cant see my family often.. but ripping me the hope of verbal communication wif them during my free time after lunch wd kill me!!! This is not army, this is hell. Hope wk can cont to live his life no matter where he goes. And hope tt I wont face such ridiculous situations in my new base.
Poor Cygig. HAHA! Posted to overseas may not b a bad thing after all. At least u get to exp smth extraodinary out there.. This is the 1st time I ever heard of techs being posted overseas. Oh well, take care lah bro. Yr case is less severe den weikiat's, so I wont say much. If yr shoulder cant take it, den juz sound out. Hope u make a wise decision on whether u want to oot..
To vaineo.. my pai-ka friend in sispec. I suggest u see MO once u get back. Get excused for training for a few days. Hope its juz some muscle strains and not anything else. I still wanna c u in one piece. See how yr leg goes these few days. If there is no improvement, go see MO again and fuck him for his lousy treatment. Juz kidding. HAHA! OOT is an option, but I dun think u shd go for it. 10 more wks to cpl. Endure. Pain is temp, pride is forever. Note this only applies once yr leg has recovered. Dont endure if pain starts to build up on yr leg. I dun wanna c u in wheelchair nx time we meet up. HAHA! As for yr money, cab fare was $16.60, will return u remainder once u r free frm yr sufferings.
I haf to thx my family, esp my mum. It was her who woke me up at 0545 without fail everyday. Having to slp less den 6 hrs everyday during my 5 days at AFS, I hate to see her in tt state. Not able to see her once I bkin again, I only wish tt time wd juz stop right there, and help her out in every way possible.
For myself, hope my section there r no smokers or some odd-balls in my bunk. I hate the former more though. They pollute the place wif their smoke and their ugly face. I dun wanna die due to lung cancer when I m in army.
"Its not wad u left bhind, its wad u gained in the days ahead." Sounds familiar? Its so untrue, IMO. I think my exp back in hawk coy was more delightful den my life now. Ironically, I missed those tough days in hawk, but at least I spent those days wif a gd pltn. A pltn tt left tonnes of gd memories behind in my memory. Sad to say, I haf not gained anything once I stepped out of bmtc.
Lastly, this is dedicated to my one and only, whom I cant seem to forget after BMTC.
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Vivo Photoshoot
[ZOMBiE CyGiG] ranted at 8:18 AM --- Post#7999575044282217366
Went vivo took part in their photoshooting contest. I only chose 5 out of so many many pics to take part, simply cos printing fee is exp ($9 for 8R Express).
Actually i think the 5 sucks. Cos its a last evening thingy, so ya anyhow anyhow lor.
Partly also relieve stress and test test my D80.
Selected Photos:
Other Photos:
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Save me. Please.
[ZOMBiE CyGiG] ranted at 1:01 AM --- Post#5041623534285106043
"Who designed the logo?"
"dunno, some OJE"
As usual my effort are worthless. No only i dun get my off, they dun even noe who designed their tee. At this point in time, i recalled what 2IC told me a few days before...
.
.
.
"This is the unit, u have to follow the tempo. When the door is open, everyone will stay out. This is a stay in unit. As long as you are here, you stay in! As for things like Exercise Wallaby, u go with your company. If your company goes, you have to. Dun come and tell me nonsense like you dun want to do. I train u liao, you have to go. Else i train you for what? Dun say im a bastard, today OC is coming down, your go and tell him, ask him change unit for your...."
In the end, OC never came to us...he just came down to take a look. Due to his busy schedule, all the dialogs and interview had been canceled.
.
.
.
That day was cohesion day. I dun drink, so i just put my head on the table. Hoping some tears will come for me to cry and make a scene in front of everyone. Perhaps it will appeal to their better nature? But tears never come. Somehow after so long of rough life, i had forgotten how to cry, because everytime i want to cry, im either in the public or in front of family. I dun want cry in those situation. Or maybe everytime cry unit no tears liao. Or maybe im too numb to feel anything. Thinking back again to something happened a day before...
.
.
.
I was desperate after what 2IC told me. All my hopes dashed. So i decided to seek help from my OETI instructor. A particular person who i think can help me. I messaged her, but she never ever reply. The next day i found out i forgot to include my name, so i sent another SMS to her and told her who i am. No reply still. Either she is pissed off with me, or she dun understand what i want, cos i summarise all the reasons and events and help i wanted into a mere hundred plus words.
Looking at my a senior in charge of me, he dun seem like going to help me. He dint ask about my problem or wny i want stay out, just said "u got problem go find the IC lor, your problem is our concern. I can help arrange interview if you want".
Another senior keep tapping my shoulder and say "I know you dun want be turret mech, but just enjoy ba...". I explain i dun want stay out, not dun want be turret mech. He replied "stay in stay out same. After work u close your eyes, u wake up, you goto work. In future, at the end of the day, u close our eyes, you wake up, u go to school..." Huh? I was working with him alone for quite some time in the day. I was so much hoping he can ask why i want to stay out, so i can tell him. Nope, he just kept working and never asked me anything at all. No chance for me to explain. I dun want irritate anymore ppl w my old boring problems.
.
.
.
Back to cohesion night...I was putting my head on the table, when suddenly someone came to massage my shoulder. I woke up and saw this friendly big face on top. Officer. He told me before he will help me. But tonight he told me something more.
"Why so sad? Tonight good food leh."
"Haiz...."
"Dun liddat lah, u in happiness and bliss u dunno only. U got watch the 9pm Honor and Passion show?"
"Nah, i dun watch propagandas" I paused a while. "Oh ya, 2IC said no negotiation to stay out and not go overseas exercise." Staring at 2IC making sure he cant hear.
"Ya lah...". He replied. I was shocked. I tot the answer will be something more comforting. Something more coherent to the "dun worry" that he told me few days ago.
"Cannot change a platoon to the Ayer Rajah one?" I asked.
"No lah." He replied. At this point in time, i dun feel like continuing the conversation. Though i tot im damn rude since he is an officer. I put my head down, as he walked over (someone calling him i guess).
After that, Some prize giving and stuff. Some birthday cakes for ppl's bd in july. They force me go in cut cake. In exchange i gave them my orh bin (black face, though literally i very fair).
The rest of the turret ppl are high on alcohol and having some fun making each other emo. I never took any beer, but i tot i took some depressant. I feel like dying...feel like laughing to myself, feel like flying...like i can jump off from this canteen and end this all. Feel like maybe i can stuff myself with too much food and get some heart diseases and die. Ya food...food makes me better. So i keep gorging, even i noe later on i sure get gastric problem.
Ppl drink beer to drown sorrow. I gorge myself with food to achieve the same effect. Hai, at this point in time, Mr Zombie still holds his guai lan trademark. No hope for me da. Quite funny, come to think of it.
After the cohesion ends, i quickly get my stuff and took Master's car back home. Nice of him to send me to just outside my block. Thank you.
.
.
Two days later
.
.
Im playing Halo 2. Someone pushing myself into the digital virtual world again. Im no longer a private in SAF. Im Master Chief, the commander of a fleet of soldiers armed with Battle Rifle and Plasma Sword, driving Warthog and Scorpion Tank around like no body's business, crushing each and every Covenant and Flood in my way.
I can hold auto firing SMG, summore dual wielding them and spray at anyone incuding friendly forces. I can use my one slash one kill plasma sword against the Elites or snipe down jackals with Beam Rifle.
For days i had been indulging in the game. Hoping to relief my problems. Yup hope.
Will hope come? Will miracle come. I tell myself "YES YES", but i know in the end...nothing will come.
Save me. Please.
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Sunday, July 29, 2007
Shd or shdnt I?
[havoc] ranted at 12:52 PM --- Post#2429673794250870979
Shd I or shdnt?
This is the qn I haf been thinking to myself, over and over again after reading Low Kay Hwa's "I Believe U". Well, I m not in a hurry or desperate to find the ans to tt now, unlike the main character in the story. Time will tell me everything I nid to noe. Its no use brooding over smth tt is yet to happen, though I may regret if tt time really comes.
I m a happy-go-lucky person. But the recent events in camp really made my blood boil. They say boys change in army. I used to agree otherwise. Time really tells the difference. How to adopt a happy-go-lucky attitude when so many unpleasant things happen on u in juz a short period?
Well, for once I muz really thx god for relieving my agony towards smokers smoking blatantly in my bunk. They r cutting down on their cigarette intakes in my bunk. Phew! Looks like the idea of buying a gas mask has to b set aside for the time being. HAHA!
Of cos, amongst all these pleasant stuff tt r starting to take place, there r ppl who r still as fucked up as b4, ruining the rosy pic I long wanted to paint of my life in camp. BALVINDER AND SADISH r still clinging on to their 1st position on my top 10 hate list.
Nx comes a guy called MD RIZZWAN. Another blatant smoker who has a wtf attitude. MUTHAFUCKER is his name, and mocking at others is his game. In my eyes, he is a SHATEC student reject.
My grp IC has also made his way up my top hated list. FUCKER. I still remb on Fri's RO, the BOS told us tt our breakfast timing was 0625. 0625 is a magical number, bcos normally our breakfast timing is b4 0600.. I still remb the latest timing was ard 0550. The number "6" in 0625 was so magical tt I almost wanted to ring up my dad and asked him to cast his bets on the "winning" number 0625.. Of cos, I didnt since I m not a hardcore gambler.
Apparently, when everyone heard this piece of gd news, everyone was taken by surprised. The Surprise was soon overwhelmed by a sense of happiness tt hadnt occured since we began our stay-in at semb camp. All except our IC. After we left frm RO back to our bunk, everyone was delighted. Of cos, all gd things come an end. I wd say for my case, an ABRUPT one. After we reached our bunk and settled on our cozy beds, the IC came shortly after, breaking yet another news tt took us by shock. It seemed tt there was a change in timing to 0500!!! WtF? This wd mean we had to wake up by 0430 to prepare our wash up? This was a shock, bcos our ever latest fall-in timing had changed to the earliest fall-in timing we ever had!
When I heard tt the IC was the one responsible to bring abt this downfall, I angrily questioned his motive.. This was part of the god-damned excuse to cover up his fucked up ass:
"Hey, juz look at the facts here, wd u? Does it make any sense tt u fall in for breakfast at 0625 when the bus to KBC arrives at 0630? Even if u decide to fall in at 0625 for breakfast, and decide to reach KBC at a later time, how wd u account tt to our ACOE (the instructor in charge of our pltn)? Obviously, I had the welfare of the pltn in mind when I proposed to the BOS abt this. I dun want MYSELF to b kenna fucked upside dwn for such a simple matter. Rather than the whole grp kenna fucked by ACOE, I ll be the fucker this time to ask him to change the time to an earlier one, so tt no one wd b fucked!"
"So it juz boils down to yrself, u as an individual? Is it abt saving yr puny ass so tt u wont be fucked?" I tot to myself. Obviously disgusted by this reply of his, even though part of it made sense, I was wondering if the IC had any welfare of the pltn in mind. If he did, he wd bloody hell ask for an extension in the fall-in timing. And he didnt.
Since its RO, its pre-planned. I tot to myself, y make so much nuisance over the fall-in timing? If its 0625, there muz b a reason for it to b so. Our "beloved" IC juz had to stick his fucking leg into this matter. Another muthafucker.
Hope I wd haf an ez wk frm now on. I haf height and lashing test and parking assessment tmr. Another great hurdle b4 the great TP test. Oh GOD, come to my aid.
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Monday, July 23, 2007
Why I Hate Soccer
[ZOMBiE CyGiG] ranted at 10:45 PM --- Post#6418536636912174578
1. Personal preference. 22 guys running for one ball dun appeal to me.
2. To me, soccer is not innovative or creative or high tech a game at all.
3. Im a born slacker, i hate sports generally.
4. I go by my belief that a lot of popular stuffs are no good in quality, just made popular by promotion, culture, influence and pressure. And i think soccer is one of them. I seldom go by "because everyone does it/think that way thats why its correct and i must follow"
5. I cant play soccer well? Im not fit enough.
6. My good friends around me and my family mostly dun touch soccer
7. My current hobbies already require lots of money. Soccer usually comes with outings, beers, cable TV plans, concert ticket, buying fans merchandise... I wish to save money for my current hobby :)
8. Top down view of tiny humans and a micro soccer ball is not to my eye candy, just like Real Time Strategy Games.
9. Disputes between hardware, software, audio, graphics and other IT elements are more than enough. No soccer disputes on clubs and game play...nah...
10. Im proud to hate soccer.
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Sunday, July 22, 2007
Qi Li Xiang, re written lyrics
[ZOMBiE CyGiG] ranted at 10:55 PM --- Post#7419956844075482664
This is what i call a pro in chinese, and this kinda creativity should be inculcated into our education system. MOE should support this.
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Broke
[ZOMBiE CyGiG] ranted at 10:23 PM --- Post#2906460469875856733
Time to blog again.
41FMP logo
Damned...when they printed the logo for all the preview...lots of comments start flying in. Not enough details, colour not right...all those. In the first place i was instructed to "just do a simple one lah", and then "every BTT group do one". End up i burn my night trying to do something for the platoon, where the rest slack and comment so much. So nvm, i brainstormed and went home do a better one. Now this time they tell me what they want and i draw.
And for this. I want my two days off.
Mini Box D
Tried out Ah lam's mini box d pocket amp. On his iPod Mini, with amp it sounds very warm and that all the frequencies are equally presented, which is not my preference as i like EQing the sound to distort to something i like. Without the amp, the music sounds much colder and harder, but strangely more details come out. Perhaps some EQ has been done before sending the sound over to the headphone jack, while his line out is true flat sound.
On my D2, the sounding is nothing new. I was surprised as well, but with amp and flat all EQ/Enhance, it dint sound as extraordinary and warm as i tot it will be. Its equally nice and warm like my own EQ-ed and enhanced sound. Its prolly BBE at work :)
Lam verified it as well, as i do a demo to him with my new EQ with BBE on, then off.
Broke
Now GST go up...everything also exp. Teenage Cafe's price list goes up again. From my $1 Goreng Pisang...to $1.20 to now $1.90. Siao...haiz.. Bought four music album in a day. I want buy my Bagman bag as well but see pocket empty liao.
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Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Nothing to do
[ZOMBiE CyGiG] ranted at 11:27 PM --- Post#2214466400170332205
Army Technician = Sleeping
Not only today..for the past few days we kept sleeping. We call it "disappear". There is really no work for turret technician to do mah...so slack lor. We cant stay inside the office to blow air for too long, else other ppl will keep asking why we no work to do.
For today really zero work to do. We took the key to rest room and hide there and sleep the whole day. So little work still want us stay in. Nonsense.
I went to MO this morning, cos my tummy sibei pain. MO say its gastric flu...must be i eat too much raw salmon liao da...MO so giam siap, gastric flu only give one day ATT B. I got slight fever and diarrhea lor..must give Att C de!
41 FMP Logo
They ask me design a logo for 41 Forward Maintenance Platoon (thats my unit in Kranji, in case u sitll dunno). I mean i hate that place. Hate as in i hate the fact need to stay in, need to go Exercise Wallaby and go India. The ppl and amenities there are fine. Well, if they ask me, i will do the logo for them.
They gonna print on some mini-tee for those going to ORD soon. Outside liddat design one at least i charge $200 to $300 liao lor. Then come here they dun even know its i do the logo de. Stupid army. I hope will get some days off for my effort.
Project Tee Launching
I was asking Jas that day if she got design her own tee before. She told me her aunt is do print tee de. So can help. Well this struck me in trying to print my own tee. Tomato seem interested in it cos i told her pics of tomato will definitely be in. Wei kiat wants a tee for The Wicked. At least now got some ppl interested, i will come out w some tee design, and ask Jas help me go get it print.
Say one tee is $20 cost price. Then each person take 5. say got 3 or 4 ppl getting. Total is about 15 to 20. Then one keep, the rest 4 tee go give away or sell. Sounds ok to me. Cos need to make the numbers for bulk purchase. Each tee can sell $30, earn $10.
Actually less about selling, what i want is to wear my ownself designed tee lah. Hai...stupid army need me stay in and stuff..else i will be able to fulfill my dream easily.
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Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Japanese Breast Feeding Cat
[ZOMBiE CyGiG] ranted at 11:10 PM --- Post#7523620434602252884
Just a little naughty entertainment. Love ANIMALS! Hehehe.
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Sunday, July 15, 2007
ZZzZZ
[havoc] ranted at 4:43 PM --- Post#6771658323502695869
If anyone out there thinks being a driver is an ez vocation, think again. Wif various theory and practical tests u haf to conquer, and high requirements u muz attain, its quite pressurizing.
Oh well, tt's my life. For another 10 wks?
Fuck the smokers. They r really getting on my nerves. Fuck Balvinder and Sadish. The 2 biggest fuckers cum smokers ard in STC. Always challenging higher authorities and showing off in every way possible, its been a pain in the ass knowing such scums. I really hope I can gif these 2 a piece of my mind.. But come to think of it, I wd ony nid to bear wif them for another 6 wks or so. Can I withhold my anger till den or wd I erupt b4 tt time comes? Their daily irritating acts only serve to fuel my hatred and disgust towards them.
Luckily, there r guys I noe I can depend on in times of needs. These guys r my AFS friends tt also bear a similar hatred to the smokers. For once, I wasnt fighting this war alone. ALONE..
Hope tt I wd pass my Highway Situational Test (HSP) this wk. I find it a chore to repeat the same old thing everytime we practised HSP in classroom. LET'S GET IT DONE ONCE AND FOR ALL AND MAKE IT A GLORIOUS VICTORY FOR ME TO REMB IN THE DAYS TO COME.
Oh well..
Also, I wanted to add tt the food provided by SFI really sux. SUX to the core.Wif mutton curry served every meal is an eye sore. They seriously nid to revamp the menu lah, but sadly spking, there r no channels to bring this issue across. So I die die had to lum lan sux thumb for the 10 wks.
FUCK!
Anyway, a happy bdae to cygig. Hope yr wishes come true. I hereby wishing u success in everything u do. Hope u can get over the sad things tt occur to u in the previous year and get on to live a fulfilling life.
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Fuck Day
[ZOMBiE CyGiG] ranted at 10:34 AM --- Post#2886781419683510071
Fuck Day
Birthday? I have no birthday. Whats the use of birthday on a freaking sunday where i have to stay at home to rot? Cant find anyone go out today...i guess i will stone at home ripping music and trying to get pass that stupid Copy Protected CD.
Every year birthday also damn sian damn sad. Last year's bd worry about school stuff...this year army stuff...so sad so sad...fuck lah... I noe of ppl who will always get like big birthday parties, lots lots lots of presents and cakes. For me, its just my parents taking me to eat (maybe they wanna eat themself also?) something a bit more exp than normal dinner or lunch.
Damn sad. Birthday is just like any usual day...dragged with parent's nagging and sister's irritation and the usual problems....sian
Birthday? More like Fuck Day.
Digital Land
I realised i haven been talking to anyone for the past 2 weeks. Talking as in real life chatting to humans directly. All along in camp, i merely held simple conversation like "tml bring what?" or "what time fall in?" or "fix what thing?" or "er, sergeant looking for you". My handphone's batt lasted the whole week cos i never call anyone nor sms anyone (except towards the end of the week i sms a bit).
I had been talking, playing whatever in forums, my own comp, over MSN, over sms. I realised i talked over these indirect medium is much more than i talk in real life. Slowly...my life is divided into two parts. First part is the problemtic "Mohawk" (my turret ppl called me cos im the only Mohawk from BMT in my class) who is so guai lan and soft and lousy and worry about things like staying in and going overseas and hide at home all the time. The part two comes when i enter my little digital comfort zone, reading and posting in forums, chat online over the midnight on MSN, or mass messaging and chatting w like 5 ppl simultaneously on SMS and busting my bill. Taking command of my machines and make full use to do watever i like, so confident becos most of the time my fatality and power in controlling machines is much much more than ppl around me.
Someone told me before she likes to stay alone and quiet when depress. But i tot i myself like to talk to ppl, rant a lot to release pressure and stress. When ranting, i never ever expected an answer or solution...just to vent my anger my saying things out thats all.
Now i want to switch, now i just want be alone. I dun want rant, dun want talk at all. Just lock myself up. Real life or digital life also dun talk anymore. Just like trap myself in some dark zone no body finds, no body sees. Out of sight. Out of hearing range.
Then one day you find me dead, and you also dunno why. But dun worry, i will still blog.
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Light Box
[ZOMBiE CyGiG] ranted at 9:25 AM --- Post#84231261588290329
Im just wondering how effective my light box is?
What is a light box? It is simple a box with translucent matieral around it, like cloth or plastics. The idea is to diffuse strong light (using spot lights or bright lamps from the sides) entering the light box, so that the object placed inside the light box is nicely lighted for photography work.
My mini studio light box
I used my C730UZ for testing. Its an old camera since Sec2 (year 2002), its 3mp and then its smthing outstanding lor. Compared to my D80, the metering and speed is no match. Other than that, the colour of C730 tends to be more noisy and dull.
Turn out the images looks ok. Shows that with controlled good lighting, even lousy cam can achieve good results easily. Good for mini DIY studio works.
The Light box cost me $30, and the lamp and holder damn cheap from cash converters.
Some toufu (looks more like square apple) plushie my sis gave me for birthday
The spanner Master Stella gave us before leaving OETI
My little Koromon
Crystal turtle, dunno kope from where one...
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Monday, July 09, 2007
Damn chio
[ZOMBiE CyGiG] ranted at 12:28 AM --- Post#8206962418620046344
Damn chio, what a pity...
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Sunday, July 08, 2007
Random
[havoc] ranted at 11:30 AM --- Post#5056100923844065299
Heaven Knows
Rick Price
_____
She's always on my mind
From the time I wake up
Till I close my eyes
She's everywhere I go
She's all I know
And though she's so far away
It just keeps getting stronger everyday
And even now she's gone
I'm still holdin' on
So tell me where do I start
'Cause it's breakin my heart
Don't wanna let her go
Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows
My friends keep telling me
That if you really love her
You've gotta set her free
And if she returns in time
I'll know she's mine
So tell me where do I start
'Cause it's breaking my heart
Don't wanna let her go
Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows
Why I live in despair
'Cause wide awake or dreaming
I know she's never there
And all the time I act so brave
I'm shakin' inside
Why does it hurt me so
Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
Only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope and pray
'Cause heaven knows
Heaven knows
Heaven knows
Sentimental but meaningful.. Oh well on wif my life during these 6 days..
I haf tonnes of lectures and driving practicals these 6 days. I also had highway code test (MCQ test on the common road signs and safety regulations), where failures muz stay back for RT. The passing mark was 45/50, luckily I scored 49.. Those who failed the test deserved it, mostly bcos they only noe how to smoke all day long.
Fucking smokers. Actually I dun mind them smoking, since its their lives tt r at stake and not mine. However, when my life is threatened by their inconsiderate actions, I wd gif a fucking damn. U might b wondering wad did they do tt was considered inconsiderate. Well, here's a list of wad they did:
1) Smoking in bunks openly, though rules r strictly enforced not to do so.
2) Smoking on tonners every Friday (since Friday is NO SMOKING DAY)
3) Smoking and exhaling their air at the faces of non-smokers
4) Secretly smoking till the wee hours of the nite, disturbing others wif their noise and smoke pollution
5) Polluting the whole place wif their hideous faces
KK.. I think the last pt was abit too much. But, their stupid n incorrigible actions serve to threaten the lives of non-smokers. I think if this goes on, I wd soon die of passive smoking. Telling the COS/OC wont help, since the max punishment they wd issue is confinement. AND the smokers wd get u for tt, since they r a bunch of uncultured hokkien pengs and modern malays (mostly widely known as muds)
My pleasant stay in Semb camp was further ruined by the sub-standard food they served in ckhse. Wif similar dishes served to u every single meal, one wdnt want to anticipate wad surprising stuff they wd serve for the nx meal. Fuck! Seriously, they shd revamp their menu. I had mutton curry and fried fish for the past 6 days. It keeps repeating every meal. Same goes for the drinks. I think I had rose syrup on 4 out of 6 days. The rice is as hard as stone. A lump of it will only crack when its dropped frm a high lvl. Thinking of this juz turns me off.
Returning there in 9 hrs time. DAMN. 7 more wks of torture to go.
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Saturday, July 07, 2007
Technicial Clerk
[ZOMBiE CyGiG] ranted at 9:39 AM --- Post#5950098843236178359
Everytime i step into Kranji camp, this thing call "depression" will come after me. Rather once i step in, i will begin to sigh and shake head. This is my graveyard. Being a technician is ok, being a stay in technician is suay, going to Aussie is a no way and going to india is almost equivalent to suicide.
I did consult my PC many times. He was from AJC for six months, then transferred to Poly, cos he felt he is not suited for JC. Then i say "Sir, thats why, i dun feel im suitable for a technician. Everyone got their own liking." He diam diam for a moment. I continued "I want be clerk."
"But being clerk got what pride?"
"Sir, the pride does not come from being a clerk, the pride comes from being able to serve my own passion after i have more free time when i become a clerk."
Actually im aware not all clerks stay out. But the case is im most definitely going to stay in in Kranji, i might as well take the gamble. Also being clerk usually works alone or with another clerk. I prefer working alone or with just another person. Also partly is because being clerk will have less chances to be posted overseas for exercise.
Its more like "not technician" than clerk actually. I quoted clerk is because its most ideal among other non-technical vocations.
Also Im damn aware my shoulder's condition isnt getting any better, who knows when i get older my arm just drop off?
So in short, Im still okay with being a technician, but feeling very uncomfortable with the idea of going overseas, and to stay in takes away learning and experiences of the field im going to peruse next time. Since now its almost 100% im going to to stay in and going to Wallaby and India, I then would like change a vocation, if given a choice, a clerk. And i am aware that i might not get my desired posting, but still its worth a try. On top of that, physically i got problems with my right shoulder and carrying heavy stuff, esp field pack and some action that requires me to stretch up my hands like pushing myself out of the hatch.
Miracle neh?
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Monday, July 02, 2007
Sorrry...
[ZOMBiE CyGiG] ranted at 10:09 PM --- Post#5298503726010204019
I made a good friend angry today. I was wishing her happy belated birthday on the phone, when i talk talk talk about my series of unfortunate events. I start to complain and whine as usual. She was like "U already very lucky...other ppl stay out all the way...", then i said "no...its not liddat, u never been in army how u noe?" I dint mean anything but just like a normal discussion.
She hung up. She said she was trying to cheer me and advise me while i keep talking back and arguing.
Actually i never have any intention on arguing back. Maybe its my bad cos i always argue back by nature. But i really dun have any intention of doing it. Its just like any other discussion lor. I complain a lot, yes i know. I also know by complaining and whining so much NOTHING will be change. Facts are facts, end of the day i still got to face it.
But what i want is just a channel to voice out my feelings. Vent a bit my anger and release the pressure. Thats why i always look for ppl to complain to. Cos i feel much better when i say it out. Also consoles from my friends boost my morale also. So i will just rant and rant...then i feel better...then i will think of ways to solve the problem myself.
Maybe she took me too seriously, as in she really wanted to help me, while me on this end just want to let everything out. Thus i offended her in that way. But really, i mean no harm, and i regret my doing.
Im someone who got no friends in real life, all my good friend are reachable only in digital transmission means. Ie Instant Messaging, SMS or phone talk. Thus i value each and every sms and MSN chat session. I value each session on phone as well. Common practise is ppl only reply to important messages, thus when i message someone and he/she dun reply, i get upset. Its not the other's party fault also, no one's job to entertain me, but cos i rely too much on indirect message transmission, i feel like the other party is daoing me or hating me.
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Kallang River
[ZOMBiE CyGiG] ranted at 7:09 AM --- Post#7576318327640285088
Went to Kallang River there for some night shots. Hope you like it.
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Sunday, July 01, 2007
Artwork: Loved VS The Hated
[ZOMBiE CyGiG] ranted at 4:28 PM --- Post#457501255941218999
[Full Size]
Explanation:
The most eye catching object in this piece is the bomb. Its those kinda of drop off bomb from planes and jets. If u look a little longer, u will pay attention to the couple in front. Yup, the big war and fights are often highlighted, but the small small lovely couple is just simply missed out. As the bomb is reaching the ground, the couple held hands and await doom. The chances of survival is very slim, but yet being able to die under the warmth of of love is much better than dying alone. Notice the girl is holding the guy's hand, in which the norm should be the other way round. Cos i believe neither the guy nor gal should sacrifice more for each other, rather it should be mutual. The gal should protect and calm the guy when the time comes.
Inspiration:
Yes, i do believe in hatred and revenge, but alot of times the power of love can rival with the power of hatred. Even if Love do not win Hatred, Love is noble enough to protect and stay by one another even when the world ends.
I had seen a lot of cases where guys got hurt (mentally or physically) during NS, and it devastated their families and friends as well. Also there are lots of cases where during the torment period, there isnt even anybody by his side to take care of him.
Love from a couple can be greater than any 1000mm round SAF can buy. National Service really drains a lot from any NSF, how sinful. The big big war everyone can see. The small small love no body cares.
Hatred is powerful. Love is noble.
Technical Details:
Software - Adobe Photoshop CS 3, Adobe Illustrator CS 3
Time taken - About a month
Canvas Size - 4000x3000px
The bomb, guy and girl are drawn in Illustrator, the usual way of shaping the objects like tablets, Pen tool and preset shapes. I used light desaturated colours this time, instead of my usual dark desaturated schemes. Im trying to mimic the cartoon style from Kawaii Not, noticing that the artist use a lot of light and eye smoothing colours. Although he goes about drawing borderless, i stick to having thick outline on my cartoon figures as well as some slight shading.
The polluted sky and smokes are make using the usual round brush. But what i did was to introduce some scattering, opacity jitter, size jitter, softness, spacing them out, mix between grey and dark grey... Then brushing them in circles to look like smoke or clouds, and finally applying blur. Gaussian blur to smokes and motion blur to the polluted sky. Duplicating the layers will make the effect stands out more.
The fire is done similarly to the smoke/clouds, but using a course bristle brush to simulate the flares coming from fire. Colours include yellow and dark orange. I notice that the outer side of the fire is often daker in colour than the inside. And fire is not red, its orange and yellow most of the time. Shadowing and inner glows and duplicating the same layers are used to make things more fiery.
The buildings in the bg is just simple rectangles with grunge brushes painted on, and duplicated many many times and manually varying its sizes and rotation.
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A long-winded entry
[havoc] ranted at 11:54 AM --- Post#7152847587793888026
As the title suggests and I will not care to elaborate..
First and foremost, I haven been to this place which I called sanctuary for a long time.. ever since the start of this wk. Partly bcos I was bz wif my admin stuff since I entered air force sch. For a period of 5 days, spanning frm mon to fri, I haf been devoting (wasting to b more exact) my precious time, sitting ard in an air-conditioned audi, wif a bunch of low-cultured poly brats, juz listening to tonnes of boring lectures. FUCK IT!
Air Force Sch surely wastes my time and energy when I was there for tt 5 days. Listening to its propaganda and slides to show how almighty it is to the SAF, I was bored to tears. 5 days mostly spent in audi slping due to boring lectures, wif little time for our games day on thurs and a ccb CCWO who strikes terror in everyone.. I was telling myself, y i was here in the 1st place.
As I slowly wake up frm my dream, I realised I m a AFV driver. A proud owner of a v200 and possibly a civilian license (if I can clock 7000km). YES! This is wad I always wanted. A driving license.
Finally on Fri, I knew wad was expected of this vocation. A 5.5 day work week (wtf), stayin at semb camp, driving course at Kaki Bukit, bkin in fieldpack and duffle bag. Well, kinda expected it was stay in. But the 5.5 day work wk is too much. Oh well, since the pros outweigh the cons, I shdnt complain so much.
Everyday to AFS was a torture, having to wake up at 0545 and rushing to catch the 0610 train to Toa Payoh, and rushing to catch the 0650 bus there... My life is pretty hectic, in a way. Gd thing is, I get to see my wonderful parents everyday. They r my revitalisers after a hectic & boring day at AFS..
Unlike weikiat, who had to stay in at 30th SCE (the most siong combat engineer unit), without getting to see his loved ones everyday and endure arduous regimentation training everyday. This was saddening for him. Wad was more shocking was tt HE was only given 5 mins of ADMIN TIME everynite.. and the atrocious act of his sgts confiscating all CE's fones during the day, I was like WTF? If it was me, I wd die in there. Staying in already means I cant see my family often.. but ripping me the hope of verbal communication wif them during my free time after lunch wd kill me!!! This is not army, this is hell. Hope wk can cont to live his life no matter where he goes. And hope tt I wont face such ridiculous situations in my new base.
Poor Cygig. HAHA! Posted to overseas may not b a bad thing after all. At least u get to exp smth extraodinary out there.. This is the 1st time I ever heard of techs being posted overseas. Oh well, take care lah bro. Yr case is less severe den weikiat's, so I wont say much. If yr shoulder cant take it, den juz sound out. Hope u make a wise decision on whether u want to oot..
To vaineo.. my pai-ka friend in sispec. I suggest u see MO once u get back. Get excused for training for a few days. Hope its juz some muscle strains and not anything else. I still wanna c u in one piece. See how yr leg goes these few days. If there is no improvement, go see MO again and fuck him for his lousy treatment. Juz kidding. HAHA! OOT is an option, but I dun think u shd go for it. 10 more wks to cpl. Endure. Pain is temp, pride is forever. Note this only applies once yr leg has recovered. Dont endure if pain starts to build up on yr leg. I dun wanna c u in wheelchair nx time we meet up. HAHA! As for yr money, cab fare was $16.60, will return u remainder once u r free frm yr sufferings.
I haf to thx my family, esp my mum. It was her who woke me up at 0545 without fail everyday. Having to slp less den 6 hrs everyday during my 5 days at AFS, I hate to see her in tt state. Not able to see her once I bkin again, I only wish tt time wd juz stop right there, and help her out in every way possible.
For myself, hope my section there r no smokers or some odd-balls in my bunk. I hate the former more though. They pollute the place wif their smoke and their ugly face. I dun wanna die due to lung cancer when I m in army.
"Its not wad u left bhind, its wad u gained in the days ahead." Sounds familiar? Its so untrue, IMO. I think my exp back in hawk coy was more delightful den my life now. Ironically, I missed those tough days in hawk, but at least I spent those days wif a gd pltn. A pltn tt left tonnes of gd memories behind in my memory. Sad to say, I haf not gained anything once I stepped out of bmtc.
Lastly, this is dedicated to my one and only, whom I cant seem to forget after BMTC.
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Vivo Photoshoot
[ZOMBiE CyGiG] ranted at 8:18 AM --- Post#7999575044282217366
Went vivo took part in their photoshooting contest. I only chose 5 out of so many many pics to take part, simply cos printing fee is exp ($9 for 8R Express).
Actually i think the 5 sucks. Cos its a last evening thingy, so ya anyhow anyhow lor.
Partly also relieve stress and test test my D80.
Selected Photos:
Other Photos:
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