..:: ZOMBiE Destinee ::..

Wednesday, September 21, 2005
The Train That Haboured my Sadness....
[ZOMBiE CyGiG] ranted at 4:49 PM --- Post#112729605001691149

Today is a total crap.

the day was fine until the last part...where i was sooo tired that I decide to went home almost immediately after school. On my way to the MRT station, i met J and his gang....i dunno what had gotten into him, i had never offend him in anyway and he keep picking on me. Haiz, since he is someone so childish and wu liao and im probably not seeing next year, I simply ignore him...I knew it, walking behind he and his gang is sure bound to get some stupid comments by him.

Ok forget abt him. I went to the station...almost half asleep, i really cant take it anymore. I dint really talk to anyone, i was so tired. Ur noe tiredness can trigger my bad mood easily. And i saw someone i shall not mention. I shall call him/her "X".

X never did anything to me. But I had kept myself away from X. Reason being simple, most ppl who are my friends @ 1st will become my enemy. Like Rou Hua, but im not hating her anymore since she apologised to me, no point since its a long story. Thus i kept myself away from X, also not wanting X to see me in such a sorry state. Dunno since when i start to learn to dao ppl. Maybe thats the natural reation when ppl start to dao me.

X saw me and i prentended not to see X, im just staring blankly in empty space, half asleep. Im really too tired to think of anything.

On the train, a lot of thoughs start to flow into my mind. December. That guy is really innocent. He is being luffed @ just because he is a bit sissy. Thats quite unfair i mean. I promised myself to reamin friendly to him, no matter what the 02 ppl think of him. At least he will feel a lot better. I know how it feels when the whole world seemed to be a gainst you...i really know, thats why i wanna help him. He is not a bad guy, i mean really, its just his grudges against 02.

Then i think again. 02 did give hima a chance. They all did ask him and tried to befriend w him. At least he got me and Bunny as his friend speaking up for him. What what have i got? Zero. Nothing. So i wonder, when i care for someone else, who care for me? No one. I pretty sure they will celebrate when i jump down straight today. Fine..thats what i call ZOMBiE Destinee.

In the train its awfully awkard. I used to crack jokes with X in trains. But today i prefer to remain alone. X is talking with friends happily so i dint really cared. Just feeling that....that strange...This is not what i wanted...but no choice...

Thinking back, i tot of Qiao Yun. That gal, she keep telling me ppl ignore her and dun care of her. Well, i really dun see so. Maybe gals are more sensative, a bit then she thinks they ignore her. Well maybe that explains her long term depression? Maybe? But i do see her luffing with her friends. At least she got some moments of happiness while i dun have.

"Ding Dong, City Hall Interchange, ppl going to pasir ris, punggol or changi airport...."

i stepped out, i dun feel like seeing X, but maybe giving a smile isnt that bad. X saw me, i wanted to smile but im too weak and sad to do so. Perhaps im waiting for that impossible grettingd frm X 1st. It ended up w some kinda stare, X looked @ me and gave me that "hey fuck-off" face. Fine. Well if im X, i would also be angry with someone who suddenly dao me for no reason.

The loud tones of my G3 pierced into my ear, blocking me from reality, i cant hear anything and my eyes are too tired to see anything. I only feel sadness and the craziness of Crazy Frog. nevermind, most prob i not gonna make it for promos...I got no one to say bye bye to...

The tension in the rain grew as i try not to make any eye contact. Things shall freeze as it is...X should prentent never knew me, really. X should. Nevermind.

I skipped lunch, no mood to eat and im skipping dnr too...Im starving myself to vent anger of myself. Haiz...sad lor...Hmmm maybe i did smthing wrong to X? Nope...i dint tok to X, how to do smthing wrong?I dun wanna end up like the 1st-three-months incident where it created tons of misunderstanding.

Ok X reached the stop and went off...The tension was released. I went off the MRT a while later aft a few stops. I quickily rushed out of the train. The stupid MRT train that habour all my sadness...Im too weak to walk home so i took a bus...

At home i rushed to bed immediately, neva bath or eat. Too tried. The last thing i can remember is...a bit of wetness in my eyes....

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