..:: ZOMBiE Destinee ::..

Saturday, March 18, 2006
Way Of Life
[ZOMBiE CyGiG] ranted at 10:01 AM --- Post#114265137809013673

So the holidays are almost over le...yes u had yet to do any homework....haiz....

But say this holiday is quite...say special? Or rather more relaxing. Why neh? Usually during holidays:
-I would lock myself up at home and keeping oneself at home whole day is really torturous
-Think too much
-Stress myself up my thinking about all the homework, the more I think the more i stay away from them and in the end still never do anything
-Fearing that the holiday will end and the hatred to go back to school comes in

Well but this time i noe le. I continue my life, just relax, i dint even think about my homework at all. Even if i stress myself about them, the more i stress the more fearful and unwilling i would be. And i dun really keep track of date and time, so i oso dint realised holiday is ending until now. I just wanna spend time with family, relax, do some photoshop, watch TV, tok cock online, p;ay with my sis, talk to Mato on the phone....

No worries. And im still wondering, did I really let things go, gave up on myself or am i too numb already? Dunno. All i noe is that if i dun enjoy now, i will die faster from depression. Anyway i will die sooner or later...A level? NS? Hu noes...i might not die of the physical torture in NS, maybe bullied to death, maybe PR problems? It wun be nice.

Ppl always say there are ups and downs in life. But seriously, tell me the "ups" in my life? I wun say absolute dun have lah, but really pathetic. Then very common, ppl come tell me "at least u not like XXX disease pateients, no need undergo XXX treatment"...please lah, those disease patients at least more or less ppl give way to them, support them. And if its terminal disease, they get to die w/o a need for sucide or watever. ok ok ok ok enufff...

I everytime got problem always pour at my friends...and i find that i will never except what they say...well its like those "life is good", "always look on the brite side of life", "study is not everything", "dun care what the others say", "just be yourself" is like useless to me le. Becos i noe most of those "correct way of life" after all these...i found to be mostly fake de...they are merely words of encouragement ba. I cannot totally dun care what others say, or totally take what they say too harsh, imagine 1000 ppl say they wanna mug, and me 1 person say i wanna slack and be taxi driver...then there must be smthing wrong w me rite? If 1000 ppl hate me, then there must be smthing wrong w me rite... I oso dunno, thats why i now try to be more happy if i have got the chance...i oso dun wanna spend too much time thinking about all these....very mind taxing de..

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