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Sunday, January 28, 2007
Field Camp Aftermath
[ZOMBiE CyGiG] ranted at 4:07 PM --- Post#3470390008236300004

So i had been asking myself a lot a lot of times...how the hell i survived field camp? And there is this very very strange feeling....its that...although field camp is only like a week ago and ended a few days ago....it seemed liked it happened ages ago. Its like recalling smthing that happened a year ago, but no, its only a week ago.

Why neh? Why does a recent painful experience seemed so distant away? So i tot for a while. Normally old memories contain events, characters and timing. Smthing not there is your feeling and emotion, as they get washed out as time bypasses. U can say "that time i was really in great pain", but u cant feel the pain cos time had worn off the memories and feel of the pain at that time.

Maybe thats the answer, during the field camp i chose not to retain emotional part of my memory. Why? Cos its just too painful, or becos i was too sick then to remember anything. Thats why in the end what i got was a perfect memory of all the event that happened minus all the emotions, thus the memories seemed so distant away.

I am selfish. Yes i am. Lots of time i was asking for help from ppl. Cos seriously worn off at times in field camp to even help myself, much less other ppl. I noe its not a good excuse, cos ya... "everyone is shagged and tired". Maybe im just much more tired due to my weak body? Hard to say sia.

Needa thank Stanley also for all his help...serious. I mean i wanted to fall out long ago, but i cant just leave Stanley and Shaun liddat. For Stanley, his knees are really a big issue, even i cant help much at least can help a bit lah...

For Shaun, i noe he is one guy i can tok to and one guy who will understand me. Simple, cos we had known each other for 2 years before hand liao. He is a slacker and so am i. I feel a bit the guilty if im to just pang sei him. Everytime i feel much better when i noe there is a good friend that noe me long enuff out there, so ya lah... I mean he was nice to me (comparatively to some other ppl) in AJ lah.

I saw a doc today, cos my shoulder is hurting bad. It was hurting all along since like J1. Its always the right shoulder, everytime i carry bag on both shoulders, my right one will become hyper tensed up and fuck pain. But Skool bag is still ok. Bow when the field pack comes in, not to mention the lack of rest, things got much more worst. I can like feel the joint coming off anytime, then at certain angle it hurts real bad. My right arm's movement is restricted also, cant bend after certain degree. At times can even feel like one whole stretch of mucle pulling together. Eeeeeeee. Doc excuse me off heavy load and chin up for whole of next week. Gave me mucle tense relief which seems to be working cos now my right shoulder feel much softer, but the pain is still there. Haiz...

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