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Sunday, May 13, 2007
What I Really Want
[ZOMBiE CyGiG] ranted at 11:31 PM --- Post#3949535876090474449

Chapter 1: Friday Nites Out
Friday marks the beginning of a long weekend. A long rest. Im lucky to get a stay out unit for now. Meaning i can enjoy my friday precious nite. I treat friday like a "appetizer", a time to have fun and "feel the weekend", and when i wake up the next morning, "wow i had fun last nite, ehh...today then the weekend begins..I still have 2 days!". Sort of bluff myself lah.

Drinking, clubbing, smoking, jio chio bu....nah...im not tt kind. Went out with my family instead, to the new Giant at tampines there i think...or isit pasir ris? Wonderful evening...i like the feel of liveliness of the city at nite. Seeing all sorts of ppl buzzing around in the complex...and its a cooling even makes me feel tranquil. So I was enjoying the surrounding as I help my mom do some groceries.

Music always add on to the atmosphere. My usual entertainment kit – Ck7 plus D2. Stuffed my IEM up my ears and blocked out all outside noise immediately. I was brought into my own world…a virtual world determined by the music im listening to. I can see what ppl around me are doing, but I cannot hear them. I can only hear my own mando tunes flowing into my ear drums. I feel sort of isolated from the reality, so much so that my mind begin to wander off…as I blindly followed my dad around.

Off my mind wandering…wandering about every thing I see in Giant. I see the urban ops combat pants (its like army number 4 pants, but its grey instead of green), and began imagining about the terrorist in CS and how they can blend into the surrounding with the help of their camouflaged clothings. Thinking why I always fely AK4 is easier to use than carbine. Then I saw the sushi in the fridge…started thinking what will happen if I eat sushi for every meal…will I die? Started to count the number of susgi in a packet…and see which sushi cost more than another…

Wandering wandering wandering…off my mind wander…in this simple air con comforty Giant hypermarket...and once in a while I will take off my earphone and chat w my parents…

Nice rite? A peaceful nite.

Chapter 2: A Talk With Her
Back at home…I wandered into the digital world…floating among the bits and bytes… I saw Angie online…and asked how she was.

She told me she was damn stressed up by the exams. Poor gal, being in AJc is fucking stressed up liao…not to say Angie is in RJC now. Confirm stress level high. Its her A levels year, and I noe exactly how the school teacher will torture their students with all the tutorials, preaching and imprisoning of the students.

Of cos I noe cos I been through it. The stress, if not managed properly, is fucked up. I dunno what to do to her..except to tell her to relax.

She once helped me before last year, when I was in depression…now my turn to repay back. I told her to find a friend..and talk to her about how you feel, and so that she wun feel she is alone and helpless. Cos I always tot when u feel down…the best you can have its someone by your side..and u noe he is supporting u and understanding you.

She told me she weeped when she read that I typed. I tot I said something wrong, but she replied saying she was touched…cos im already helping her by trying to understand her situation and feelings.

So it told her what I feel: Being a techno geek, I still believe the power of text messaging. Those lines transferred from one IP to another through the cables are more than 1s and 0s and then displayed on screen. I always believe, even in digital form, text carries feelings. And its able to make others feel good.

Likewise, text can damage also. It seem that my blog had given some damaged to the reputation of AJ already.

Then I told her to relax. I told her that its not worth it to get som unhappy about studies. Cos, yes, studies is important, but as wei kiat says, its only a fucking stepping stone. After 2 years in AJC and about 6 months in NS, I realized that, really, results and studies are really peanuts to me. After all the shit in my life, its your friends, families, freedom, free from stress & trouble and doing things you like that really really matters.

Studies? No way. I noe I cant study cos I stupid, and im not going to torture myself to do things I dun like. Neither am I going to try to pass my IPPT. After all these…its like studies is really something a side..there are much more things in life worth going through.

But it told angie, not say not to study. But dun let studies pull her down until she so damn unhappy and stress…

Chapter 3: Familiar Hang Out Spot
Saturday..woke up and found my mom shouting at me…asking me to get changed and get going. I see my watch: WTF…12pm liao.

Went to Beach Road to have my number 4 name tag sewn, and lunch was my favourite Ba Chor Mee. Anyway I set off the Bugis after that.

Bugis is a place I visit almost everyweek. Why neh?
- Becos Sim Lim Square is there, need to get my gadgets
- Becos there has the most collection of cheap parallel imported Mando pop audio cd at Bugis street
- Becos I like to eat the goring pisang at Bugis Teenage Café
- I can get cheap bags for my laptop and gadgets over at bugis street
- Lots of chio bu on the second level of bugis street
- Like to idea of the air conned glasshouse at Parco
- VR officer there
- NAFA there
- Bugis is in sub-urban area, so lots of ppl but things not too exp
- Guang Yin temple there, though I free thinker, but parents always bring me there
- Lots of buskers and performers at albert street
- Bencoleen, a building all selling all kind of watches

Dunno why when I go bugis…my heart feels lighter…not so much stress. Anyway I mey kiat and sihui there. Ah kiat looking for D2, which I not very comfortable with cos I dun like ppl having the same gadget as me.

But luckily, the 2GB out of stock and 4GB too exp. So heng…Tsun Lam arrived also, bought the CK7, same earphone as me. Nvm what they buy…its not important.

This scene is utterly familiar, me, ah lam, wei kiat, sihui. Familiar…cos its like I see them everytime in AJC…like everyday. And now it seems that lots of things had passed, the AJ dark times is over liao. Guys goes to army and never see each other.

Just when I tot everything is starting new…the old characters popped out again. Summore in my lovable Bugis, which watched me grow up on (not really..just kidding). The feeling is both huai nian and guai guai and weird lah.

Chapter 4: Mother day
The say started with me waking up at noon..as usual. Mother day! I gave my mother day prezzie long ago le, ordered online from http://chinesejade.com , it’s a Celestial gold fish jade pendent that cost US$12. Thanks to PinGer who helped me bought it online.

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Went for a simple KFC meal to celebrate. Then popped over to grandma’s nursing home. Despite having lots of problems w grandma, she seems rather happy now to stay in her nursing home. No more worries for her, and we no longer have to take care of all her problems.

Problems like finance, biasness, health, politics, young time grievances…all kinds that make the situation sooo complicated when I dunno who is wrong and who is right. So mom and uncle decided to send her to nursing home, where professionals can take care of her needs, cos she got damn serious diabetes (she will eat damn lot if we let her home) and cant walk.

Anyway, we visit her weekly, and I still remember the days before I enter army. I was already visiting the nursing home, and now I pass out liao…im still back at the same place…hmmm weird feeling again.

Chapter 5: So..What I really want?
Ya…what I really want? What I want is what I have now, having enough freedom and meeting up w friends and helping some ppl out. And I wish all these will be everlasting and on the other hand…I dare not ask for anything more.

The moment I step out of AJC…my mind is freed from stresses. The moment I step out of tekong, my body is freed from all the torturing.

What more can I ask for? Im satisfied.

Peace Out :)

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