..:: ZOMBiE Destinee ::..

Sunday, September 16, 2007
Good Bye Pok Pok
[ZOMBiE CyGiG] ranted at 8:44 PM --- Post#2953794734265669352

Death is something im used to.
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I hurried to my corridor, only to find the poor thing on the floor of the cage. The head bowed towards the grids, as if it had surrendered to Death. Bald patches could be seen on her body, as those once silky brown feathers now departed from the body. I could see her eye sockets, sunken into her skull as a sign of starvation. Her legs no longer stand on the cage but was twisted in an awkward angle out, resting among her wing and body.

"Pokpok..." i called out. Her ears picked up my call and tried to lift her head, but it seemed like her muscles had shrunken to the point that even looking up is impossible. Her eyeball rolled but her eyes remained shut. What is she trying to tell me?

I wun post any pictures, as i dun think its a nice thing to capture such an awful sight. No one will want to see it. No one.

Somehow the feeling was similar to then when i knew i was sent to 41FMP and need to stay in. Its like i feel no sadness, but instead a heavy load, maybe a bomb, in my heart. Simply, dunno how to react to the sudden situation. Sometime later the bomb will blow and i will sink into Darkness once again, plague by Depression, seal myself in my abstract world on my own.

For now, i tried by very best not to look for a reaction, as i know the reaction i will have wun be nice. I chose to escape the feeling for now.

I dun want to cry. The scene of attending Jun Rong's cremation flashed into my mind. Just that this time its my very own family member. I believed she had gone to a better place. Released from hell on earth. She may go to heaven, perhaps watching over me. She may degrade into carbon and hydrogen compounds, the essentials of starting a new life... But at least from now on she wun be kept in a cage, and see me everyday trying to poke fun in her, pull her crown and pet her little head. I think she dun like me doing that all along. Maybe im really a bad owner.

Pokpok had been with me since sec 1 or 2. Lets take it as 7 years. 7 years is quite a long life for a chicken, well at least she need not worry for food, drink and shelter for 7 years. Still remember all the Avain Flu saga i used to take her out to play, tying a string to her feet to make sure she wun anyhow run away. Still remembered her first centipede. Still remembered when she tried to fly away when she was young and i got to go down stairs to standby to receive her from downstairs, fearing her wings cannot take flight for long. Still remembered when she had her first egg. Still remembered when she hatched her chicks...lots of memories and experience that most of the city dwellers will never have. I miss her.
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Went out with ying...and throughout i tried not to think about it...
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When i came back her cage was no longer there. Left there was a Converse shoe box. There my lady lies peacefully inside. I went down and dug a hole, feels like digging a shell scrape, skin got torn off from my palm as i dug the earth with this little spade without handle. This is the last thing i could do for her. I buried her.

Today, 16 september 2007 @ 3.30pm, Pokpok left this world, ended her misery on earth. I dunno if its a good thing, but i wish her all the best. Now i noe how Ella felt when Qiang Qiang went...

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